So much for twenty!

Umur gue baru 19 tapi setahun ini gue ngerasa beban yang gue pikul rasanya agak terlalu banyak. Dan gue kewalahahan. Gue pernah denger ada kutipan yang bilang kalo umur dua puluhan bukanlah usia yang mudah. Hell yeah, I'm nineteen and life give me so much damn!
Belakangan ini semuanya melelahkan banget. Bikin capek. Bikin gila. Well maybe I lose my mind already. Harusnya sekarang gue bikin tugas iklan-iklan nggak penting itu, never mind lah ya namanya juga nggak penting. Ngapain juga gue bikin tugas kayak gitu. Kadang gue ngebayangin kalo ada yang nanya ke gue apa yang pengen gue katakan ke keluarga gue. And here's the words.

THANKS FOR RUINING MY CHILDHOOD, MY TEENAGE, MY DREAM AND HELL YEAH THAT'S MY LIFE YOU RUIN NOW! I HATE THIS STUPID ADS AND HATE LIVING IN THIS FUCKING RETARDED CITY! I'LL HATE YOU FOREVER AND FUCK Y'ALL!

Tapi cursing hanya kata-kata dan sama sekali nggak merumah keadaan, bahkan suasana hati gue pun nggak. Setiap malam sebelum tidur gue sering memikirkan semua ini. Apa yang salah? Dimana yang salah? Siapa yang salah? Dan sekalipun semua salah gue, pantaskan gue mendapatkan ini sebagai hukuman? I don't wanna sounds like girls who can't move on with her life and deals with all problems but this is my dream we've talked about, and that was the main reason why I put so much efforts and sacrifices, give up everything I had only to know that couple of months later, I lose everything and left with nothing.

Seriously, God? This is what You called 'a plan' for me? Are you kidding me? Cause it's not funny and I'm not laughing.