Design to My Blog

Well I'm a little bit confused to tell what a good design for my blog. My hand wasn't made for this thing, I guess.
Can anybody help me, PLEASE?! (I'm bended on my knee and begging someone to help me).

Blood is Red

Some drugs can heal the scars. Any cure can't heal the pain. I'm bleeding and it's Red.
Yes. Blood is Red. I should have know earlier and better.

I made Red do what I want: push him away while I'm still care of Red. Some says Red was sincere but sorry, I'm not the one who broke the glass first. Wasn't my fault if the scars were remain. It hurts and I think it should be getting better since I'm single ice cream from now on. Somehow I'm so relief though there's a part of me that feel 'lil bit sad cause I let go something I actually love. Something that I actually wants to keep.

But I'm tired. I can't stand it anymore. I'm sorry to myself, I even sorry to Red cause Red won't this happen and Red's hate my decision (or maybe that was only how it looks). It's killing me when I found something strange in his gaze. He's here with me but where is Red? Red's not with me.

But you know what? True love is all the same like Aborigine's traditional weapon. Love just like a bazooka. You pull it away and it backs to you again. It will. I'm searching the truth in myself, truth in my life, truth in every little thing I did. Truth in my love, too. I'm searching for a true love and I won't play any game of love.

Time heals. It should be.
And if it's not work, I guess I have to continue my life with my little pieces of broken heart, but not with regret.

But somehow I believe Red would back again. I just have to wait in unlimited time. One thing I'm sure, it couldn't be so hard. Not as hard as Giraffe's case.

Me on A Page of Yearbook

It's been a while since pals tagged me in yearbook album. It's been a while since the last time I wrote in humblestyler. Being college student wasn't that easy though. So I was posted my style already when I was doing the photo shoot. This is it.
Guess I'm not born for fashion since I knew my passion for fashion has fade away lately. Sometimes I think dress up is suck. Don't know why I didn't care about how do I look. Maybe someday my passion will back, just like true love.

About Two Past Week

Do you remember my last post? A song that I post became a reality. Red didn't read that, of course, but he did what I wish he didn't. Taylor sang, "Baby, don't you break my heart slow". And Red did. He did it to mine.

My heart didn't break so easily, but it's crooked and it's hurting me pretty much. Red makes me believe that I was worth to have, worth to love after all happen with Giraffe: my broken heart, countless tears, sleepless nights thinking about him and fights without his attention. Red endure couple of big injury in me, I thought, and I was going to have him everything he needs: affection, embrace, spirit, hope and me by his side in the hardest moment.

But Red slipped away.. and made some fatal error. He choose me in the end, though I didn't care who he actually wants in his arms. I never persuade him to choose me because deep inside, I actually still care about Red. I want the best for someone I care about, my best friend, even the best thing for him wasn't me.

The tornado has over and we can sit in calm right now. I forgive him so easily, cause it's sad to angry too long and it's kinda suck to avoid. What he has done means nothing right now. But still I wonder who's on his mind while his gaze not look at me..

I wonder how could I make it through. I wonder if Vanessa William's Save The Best For Last would be a good song in the end of this story..