This words will be the last words I ever write about Yellow. Oh I really do hope so.
So I went to Singapore couple weeks ago. Had a great time (not really). I was torn between two heartache. A heartbreak, and a doubts.
Yellow and Red.
Red's
We've been fighting a lot lately. So much unfinished arguments, so much doubts in my heart and mind about how this relationship should end... or not.
Can't say much of anything that's true. I can't even express all thoughts and feeling well.
Long story short, we had a big fight 6 hours before my flight. And that's ruin my holiday.
Yellow's
I loved him.
And somehow inside my 21-mellow-fighter body there's still a 10 years-old girl, wondering if her first love could somehow love her back. his love doesn't have to be as much as her affections to him. A little bit is enough for her.
So once again, I was wondering if there's a slightest chance to be closer. I was going to sent him message when I realized he's taken.
I'm just surprised. And it takes a whole day long of laugh to finally realize how much it actually hurts. I cried in silence, saying "I'm done with love, I never want to feel it ever again" way too many time cause at that point, my lovelife goes nowhere. I spent too many time fell in love with someone I don't have a chance to be with, and that's happen because I swear I'm gonna wait for him no matter what and along the way I met this guy with a good heart, he loves me more than I deserve, and it's killing me to go through a day without him.
I'm a mess. And the only one who can fix me is Red. It's always been him.
