September

I'm online and open blogger because I wanna share this weird coincidence how I met two guy who looks like Red yesterday. I have a nice light conversation with the second guy whom had the same appearance with Red: beard, mowhawk, big timepiece, how he looks jagger and fierce while but somehow I felt he is a good person. And I have no idea how something like that could happen for real.

Well I previously wants to write about that. Until I hear the newest single of my favorite singe Adhitia Sofyan, September. It hits me hard when I see the tittle and read the lyric.

I met you in the city of the fall

One September night

We sat down on the table near the wall

Where conversation flows

I wonder if I could stay for a while, you see

Its been a while since I felt this way

But, we both now time is closing in

Till I’ll be gone

You’ll be too

On that night I saw you walked away

(On that night I let you walked away)

I left you in the city of the lights

That breeze September night

We walk down the road to the end

I wished the time stood still

September. It's been a while and I almost forgot how sad I used to be... and how September was a reminder and goal set I made to myself back in 2010 to move on and clearly forgot about everything, forgot about years I've spent living with tears, heartache, all feelings I never want to feel again. It's horrible, but somehow there's some awkward pleasure able to feel that cause that's probably the greatest yet craziest way I ever done to loved someone like that.
In general day, in general way, in my general thoughts, I believe I'm over him. 2012 it's the first time I accidentally don't greet him a happy birthday because I totally forgot about that. But when I heard this song he's the first thing popped in my head.
I probably miss him. Cause I think about him right now. And these thoughts... well, there's a lot of it.
I think I'm still loving him. In my own way. But not as much as I love Red. You see, there's difference between them and how I loved them. I love Yellow like a fan to her superstar. He's perfect in my eyes no matter how weird he could be (and honestly, he is). But with Yellow it's like a childish first love story, a fairy tales that would never ever happen.
And when it comes to Red, I feel different. At first I actually thought he was a jerk but then he grew up and that's like seeing caterpillar turns to butterfly, it's beautiful. I love the way he think about me, about us, about our future. And I dare to say, he's the one I wants to marry. He makes me feel brand new, he makes me feel things I never thought about before and he's my everything.
But today, I just wish him well. I think maybe deep down inside, I already knew I'm not over him. And I'm not gonna ever be. Maybe it's not about moving on. Sometimes, it's about love someone less because too much of something is not good.

And maybe, Adhitia Sofyan's September is not about Yellow and how he left when September comes back then. I think it's about how I, finally, love him less and met someone like Red. And that's when my life and true love journey started.