Last year

I feel gloomy lately. Sometimes I feel sad without any cause. Things are getting harder, people seems enjoy being mean and it ain't get easier. I hate people. My family, my friend (but not my best friends, absolutely). I hate society because they're just so idiot about the way they acted, the way they think, the way they judge others easily. Geez I hate this world.
I tried to distract myself. I read a book, I watched movies, I went hang out with my besties but nothing really ever distract me and I find it hard to do. Days passed by and always makes me realize, more and more each day, that I really don't wanna be here. I don't belong here, maybe I don't belong to anywhere too.
I feel like I'm searching for something I don't even know. I feel like there's an urge to go from here, do something right and change something wrong but I don't know what the hell is that. If I feel an urge, then it should be done as soon as possible. But I really had no idea what I actually want. My desire, every passion once I had is lost. Fashion, book, music.... and mostly, travelling.
I know it's been a year but no, I'm still not over this thing. In fact it's not 'just a thing'. It'a a big deal for me. That year was the best I ever had and yet it ruined and I had no idea how to fix it. I'm dying here, I'm dying to be there. And yet it can't be done.
Stupid life.