I really, really, really tired of my life. That the hell is going on? Damn it.
I'm so lonely. Everybody's changing. They had their own business and friendship doesn't matter anymore somehow. Maybe I'm not the best friend ever in this world but I always tried to be one. I would help if I could, at least I would hear all their trouble, give my best to some good-positive advice, try to make them happy at some moment, hold them tight when time gets tough. Literally yes, I do try my best to be a good friend.
But where the hell are they when I need them the most?! It feels like they're hiding somewhere, hiding from me and my bad luck instead show off and hold my hands. Does anybody care? Or even notice how hard this matter for me? Screw friendship. Hang up calls, no reply to my messages, or maybe they'll reply with awkward, short sentences as if they said "Go away, please, I don't know how to solve your damn problem so go ask somebody else."
I thought friends is like a tattoo, they will always stay by my side permanently. And it refers to some people I deem as good friends. But I forgot one thing. Some tattoo is fake. So they are and their personality. Gee. It's kinda scary yet funny how people changing so fast. I guess I was wrong to appreciate them so well.
I'm lonely, and when I get lonelier and nobody stand by me, I feels like hating everyone, my community, my life and even world. I become a scary beast and I don't like it, but what else I could do.. feel?
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