Forever Alone (Or Maybe Not)

Nobody really care, huh?
See, March, April and May had passed. It feels like years and I really really miss my Red (never stop wrote how much I miss him). And while I'm struggling with my own pain in Guantanamo, somehow I think Red faced a real hard situation in there, too. I actually damn worried about him.
I disappointing with all those friendly faces in disguise who only take me for granted. It's totally sucks and I hate them (well actually it refers to one person) so much. They're idiot and totally a jerk, only takes people for granted just because they rich enough to buy her/himself a good lifestyle. I'd rather call it dumb. But it doesn't matter anymore cause I lil bit relief to go away from those poker face. I gave them my kindness but what I got? Hah. Bet they'll freaks out once they feel how it's like to live in the bottom of the wheel.
BUT.
What about Red?
Who will take care of him when he sick? Remind him to eat well and encouraging him to quit smoking? Life is plain if I imagine I were him. Go to Church alone (he had a friend but I don't think it's enough, if I were him). Live in cold city with enemies within. Well, maybe not really enemies but it's hard to see who's the real friends.
I can't be his clown when he feels lonely, shelter when he felt insecure. I can't go and buy him chocolate instead let him smoking. I can't give some hug and kiss. He can't fell asleep in my lap as I combine him softly. All I can do just call, listen to him and say. The very first thing on my mind every morning is him, and the last before I sleep. He's always on my mind, it's like 24 hours every day.
But you know what's funny? Facts that I worried about him even more than myself. Sounds crazy, and people call me crazy, so what? Maybe I just love him too much. And maybe that's true. He's my precious one, the one I'll cherish and live for, to fight for and love forever.
What's better: leave or left? Cause I think both of it would killing me. You can call me random or anything but I have a faith that one day, I'll be end with him. Laying close to him till the rest of my life.
Alright, call me silly.