Pour Me Rain and Tea: We'll make it works.

Time passed. That's what I notice these few days as I wrote the date, it's January already. So many thing remind me of those happy moment back then, but sometimes I asked myself: do I really happy back then? If I did, was it the best? Or is it just my ego to say I'm happy though I'm actually not? That is one unanswered question I won't know. It's just... it's still hurts. Though I can see the good things of all this crazy matters, it's still hurts. Everyday there's a thousand cursed in my head and all I have to do is be quite and that's not an easy thing to do. Let's just move on.

Anyway. I miss him and I can't wait for Friday cause I've got a date! Yippee!

But times getting hard now. LDR is clearly not easy. But it's possible, so we'll give our best to make it works somehow. It's such a good gift to have someone, you know? I had many friends whom their life is pretty good. They had jobs I always wanted, or chances I always dream about, knowledge I always wanted to have or maybe a pretty face, skinny body and social magnets I don't have.

In other hands, some of them was jealous to me. I had one thing they didn't have: a great man and a strong relationship.

See, Red and I had so much difference before we met. I was so focus to work and put so much efforts to being perfect, while he's just an easy going guy. I tried to fix a broken heart from a 9-years-silly love and he told me he such a boy back then, dated girls with no serious intention (well, yeah, until he saw me).

But what we going through now really changed our personality. I'm getting weaker but I know all this pain will makes sense one day and I'm actually getting stronger while Red... is on his way to be a real man. And I'm proud of him. February 28th would be our 1year and half anniversary and that's just... wow.

All these time I know him and being his favorite girlfriend makes me see so much various face of Red. I know his good or weakness... and still I love him just the way he is. He laughed when he found out my geeky habits sniffing new books cause it's smells good to me. He sighed when I pull him to bookstore (and he ended up in magazine section). He smiled when I said I love him. He's jealous and got tendency to being mad when couple of my friends flirted. He's mad when I'm being selfish. He's happy when I got a high score for my Culture class.

Then, he cried when the first time he hold me after I left for 8 months. And that's the moment when I know I've found answer of all question I've been asked for my whole life. I've found what I've been looking for, what I actually want for my life. It's on him.