Late of the night when I'm sleepless, I always thinking about you. Wonder where you're might now, wonder if you already sleep yet, wonder what if I'm next to you right now. I wonder why sleepless night makes me so mellow, with all these feelings, a little tears to shed, some falters I hold and songs about you.
It's crazy how I spent all these past 8 months all alone, with you on the phone but only four times I could hold your hand and see your face. Everyday in my mind there's like a thousand curse spinning around and there's zero thing I could do right now to make it right.
I hate this city. Still. I hate my life, I hate the reasons why I'm back to this city, I hate the reasons why I had to left Bandung, I hate all people and matters why they judge me and ruined my life that easily. I hate them all.
I hate how my dreams just gone, I hate how I don't have a heart to blame you in fact you're not always here with me. I hate stupid routines I gotta do. I hate that crazy old hoe who ruined my life and I'm starving to kill her right now. I hate how distance between us changed so much things, and after all, it ruined my happiness.
I miss you, and that's not just words I said to break the ice. Truly, I am missing you. It's kinda hard and strange to have a late supper without you, to not kiss you goodnight and make sure you're alright. Sometimes I wonder if it'll changed us, and how we'll deny it.
Sometimes when I'm on my way I had these crazy plan to take the first bus I can get, just go to there and hold you. And maybe cry a little cause all these matters is killing me.
Honestly, sometimes I wonder if I can let you go just to decrease the number of pain. But I probably can't and you probably won't, so I guess that's why we still together.
No comments:
Post a Comment