I miss my girlfriends

I try to let it go and move on.
In the same time, I try to hold on.
It feels like falling slowly, torn apart into pieces or maybe both of it. I can barely sleep at night, lose my appetite, my faith and spirits like scatter, turn into dust and fly away to nowhere.
It's been 6 months and the pain still the same. And it's not all about the pain, but the emptiness too. I lost everything I used to had all at once.
I lost everything but love. Well, at least I don't lost that. I cannot imagine what my life would be then. Maybe I already dead literally.
It's funny cause I don't know what to say. If I say, "I lost everything I had." That's not entirely true cause my relationship with Red getting stronger.
If I say, "I lost all my friends and I feel so, so lonely." But Red is my bestfriend and we are on the phone everyday.
It may sounds greedy which I think I'm not cause I think it's logic if you were in my position, but Red and all of my friends are not the same. It's different. He's the guy (and soon become man) I really loves and nobody could take his place, ever, and all I want is stay right next to him like forever and a day. But I'm a 19 years old girl and still need girlfriends to hug. They have been so supportive to me but they... are they. They won't ask me how I'm doing continually like Red did. Well they don't love me with L for the way they look at me.
Maybe I'm lonely cause I miss all mt girlfriend.
But thanks God, I'm the lucky one to have the best boyfriend ever like Red ;) Still, there's something left to be thankful for.