It's January 4th and still, 1 month more to the end of this long, long holiday. Red lives in the Rain City, and it's about 2 hours from Jakarta. Well I probably can go to there by myself, maybe by train, but I don't really understand how the transportation works cause I always go to there by car. And to remember that I actually forbidden to having boyfriend like this, I can't go there. But he said he will come to Jakarta in this holiday and that's the only things that makes my holiday sweet.
Well, yes, I miss him badly. I miss him so much and it takes my breath away (sounds too much but who to blames?). I miss my Red like crazy. I bought his perfume and his shirt from Bandung to Jakarta. Every time when I think of him, I just grab his shirt and spray the perfume in my room as if he were here with me. When I'm going to sleep, I pray for him (as always) then think of him till I get sleepy and totally in dream. And even in my dream, I dream of him.
It feels like a teenager in love. I feel like 13 years old, not 18 going to 19.
And talking about missing someone, now I do realize how the different is. In my past love, I always missing him but there's nothing I could do. I can't call him just to say hi. I can't asked, "How's your day?", "Have you eat yet?" or maybe just to say "I wake up this morning, dream about you and now I miss you badly and I wish we could meet soon." There's no way I could say such words. And when I want go to bed, I can't just text him to saying goodnight. All I can do is just thinking about it, daydreaming, fell asleep with pain and wake up with insane, emptiness in my chest. I can cry, I can spent my days to writing in thick diary, I can hope, I can dream but there's nothing I could DO.
But now Red come to my life, and I don't feel so lonely anymore. I can text him just to say have a good day, wish he'll enjoy the game and win in the futsal game we crazy about. I can mention him in my tweet, just teased him with nickname I gave to him (my smelly goat in @Dondonrasta :). And I can call him just to talk about everything. Told him my dreams, recent book I read, or just talking something, anything. Thanks God that I had someone to share everything.. and now I think Vanessa Williams' Save The Best For Last could fit to me. Just when I though the chance had pass, Red go and save the best for last :)
Anyway, I MISS HIM BADLY RIGHT NOW!!!
Gee.. I wish I fell asleep tonight and wake up in last day of January, then I'll pack my things and go back to Bandung --> YES I want to meet him soon!!!!
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