Please tell me

Top of the moment

1. The Perishers - Nothing Like You and I
2. Beyonce - Halo
3. Diana Panton doing covers - So Many Stars, And I Love Him, Quiet Night of Quit Stars, Fly Me To The Moon
4. French Films - Take You With Me
5. Angus & Julia Stones - For You, You're The One That I Want
6. Diana Krall - Narrow Daylight

This is how our story gonna end... and how our life gonna start!

 This is my present to him as 5 monthversarry. It's been a year... and that was my last time in Bandung. It's such a beautiful days I've spent there and now I miss him a lot. His semester holiday is over and tomorrow he'll back to busy activities etc. I hope he's not too busy so we could talk a little bit more.

Or maybe, well, I wish I were there.

It's the cover.

Pada suatu hari di tempat yang jauh, sebuah kerajaan berdiri di atas bukit kecil.Kerajaan itu bernama Bugya.

Kerajaan Bugya dipimpin oleh Putri Gendut yang hobi membaca buku. Ia memiliki banyak sekali koleksi buku di dalamnya.

Di Kerajaan Bugya ada sebuah kedai surabi yang terkenal. Banyak orang datang untuk makan setiap harinya. 

Kabar tentang kedai surabi itu telah menyebar luas sampai ke telinga Pangeran Kambing yang tinggal di Kerajaan Merah Kuning Hijau. Karena rasa ingin tahunya yang besar, Pangeran Kambing pun menunggangi kudanya dan pergi berkunjung ke Kerajaan Bugya.

Dan ternyata benar apa kata kabar itu. Sesampainya disana, kedai surabi itu penuh sekali dengan orang-orang yang ingin makan disana. Saking penuhnya tempat itu sampai-sampai ia harus berbagi meja dengan orang lain. Disanalah ia bertemu Putri Gendut. “Ada siluman kambing,” batin Putri Gendut saat melihat Pangeran Kambing. “Ada manusia bola,” pikir Pangeran Kambing saat melihat Putri Gendut.

Mereka pun memperkenalkan diri masing-masing dan mengobrol tentang banyak hal. Pangeran Kambing suka sekali tidur, baik di kamar sampai di tengah jalan. Ia pun suka bermain futsal dengan menggunakan tanduknya sambil memakan rumput lapangan bersama Paman Bob yang dikaguminya. Sementara Putri Gendut suka membaca buku dan menggambar sendirian di ruangannya sampai berjam-jam. Ia juga suka mendengarkan lagu lama. Pangeran Kambing bercerita tentang Paman Bob yang jago menyanyi dan membuat Putri Gendut ingin berkunjung ke Kerajaan Merah Kuning Hijau suatu saat.

Pangeran Kambing menceritakan banyak kisah dan membuat Putri Gendut penasaran akan dunia di luar kerajaannya karena selama ini ia dijaga ketat dan sudah harus pulang jam enam sore. Pangeran Kambing ternyata sangat lucu seperti badut sehingga semua perkataannya dapat membuat Putri Gendut tertawa terbahak-bahak.

Putri Gendut bercerita ia memiliki sebuah gambar. Ia telah menghabiskan berhari-hari untuk membuat gambar itu tapi ia tidak tahu harus mewarnainya dengan warna apa. Pangeran Kambing mengajukan diri untuk membantu Putri Gendut mewarnai gambar itu karena di Kerajaan Merah Kuning Hijau, semua gambar harus memiliki warna. Putri Gendut setuju dan mengundang Pangeran Kambing untuk ke datang istananya.

Namun alangkah terkejutnya saat Putri Gendut melihat hasil karya Pangeran Kambing. Gambar itu berwarna merah, kuning dan hijau! Itu semua karena Pangeran Kambing berasal dari Kerajaan Merah Kuning Hijau sehingga semua benda di kerajaan itu berwarna merah, kuning dan hijau.

Saking terkejutnya Putri Gendut sampai tidak bisa berkata apa-apa. Ia pun menjadi vertigo dan pingsan. Pangeran Kambing kebingungan. Ia memutuskan untuk berlari dan memanggil dayang-dayang dan meminta obat untuk Putri Gendut.

Tapi Pangeran Kambing berlari terlalu cepat dan ia jatuh terpeleset. Melihat Pangeran Kambing jatuh, Putri Gendut langsung siuman dan ia menjadi sangat panik.

Putri Gendut langsung mengambil P3K dan mengobati Pangeran Kambing. Ia sangat sedih karena Pangeran Kambing terluka sehingga ia menangis tersedu-sedu. Melihat kepanikan Putri Gendut yang menangis sambil membalut kakinya, entah mengapa membuat Pangeran Kambing merasa senang karena perhatian dari Putri Gendut.

Putri Gendut merawat Pangeran Kambing sampai sembuh dengan penuh kasih sayang. Lalu saat Pangeran Kambing sembuh, ia pergi ke toko permen dan membelikan Putri Gendut sebatang lollipop untuk menunjukkan rasa sayangnya pada Putri Gendut. Ia tidak pergi ke toko bunga karena di kerajaannya, bunga adalah lauk yang dimakan bersama rumput dan itu adalah makanan kesukaannya.

Mendengar ucapan Pangeran Kambing membuat Putri Gendut sangat senang. Sudah setahun penuh Putri Gendut merasa sedih dan kesepian karena banyak hal dan kini Pangeran Kambing datang dan membawa banyak kebahagiaan yang tidak pernah ia rasakan sebelumnya.

Akhirnya Pangeran Kambing membawa Putri Gendut ke Kerajaan Merah Kuning Hijau dan membuat hidup Putri Gendut lebih berwarna dan bahagia. Dan mereka pun hidup bahagia bersama untuk selama-lamanya.

It's the back cover.

The awkward pathetic moment when you don't know what you actually want

I'm not saying I'm fine with it. Maybe I'm just try to deal with it and give my best shot but whatever it is, even my voice sounds fine, I'm not okay. It's almost been a year since the last time I wore my favorite uniform in Bandung. Next Monday the semester holiday's gonna be over and Red will back to hustle bustle busy routine. And once again, left me behind. I'm kind of jealous to see how he's gonna through this semester and ho he's gonna be out of town in next semester, doing internship and things that actually was my plan.
Sometimes I cried in my sleep, or in the middle of day, or in the early morning when everybody asleep. I don't know what to do, I don't know whom to talk to, I don't know what am I going to do with my life. Sometimes I wanna break up but I don't, sometimes I wants to stop from everything but I can't. Sometimes I want to die but I won't.
Sometimes I found it's hard to breathe. It's easier to jump to the sea and drowning than forgetting how happy I used to be and try to find reasons why I should be happy right now. It's clear that I'm not. Today, yesterday, last week, lats months, last March. There's nothing could really makes me happy because sadness is such an evil, it sneaks out each time happiness comes and grab it fast, runaway from me.
I can't find peace in everything. Pray just doesn't works and maybe it makes me sounds dull or something, I don't care. I try every possible way (not always logical but I'm still keep my way good and right) that could cure but couldn't hurt me more than the breakdown. I work like crazy, I went home late, I spent hours chat with Red and my friends, I ate, I'm doing theater, I cry, I try to wrote some words but that's become something I couldn't do anymore.
It's been almost a year and I still can't fix my heartache. And sometimes it seems like it can't be cured.

Girlfriends Reunion Today!

I accidentally bang my head to the woods so that's why Jen's got a big smile and Resky looks weird. I'm in misery.

Once again, yesterday was...

I'm awake in the middle of the night, barely can't sleep and thinking about him and how excited I was. I still can't fall asleep though I've played games and turn off the lights. Thoughts of him just so strong and I'm dying to meet him, I missed him so much. So I stay awake till the dawn comes, take a bath and casual make up, organize my stuff and went to travel 5 o'clock in the morning. It was dark and cold, I'm little bit dizzy cause I don't sleep enough but still I'm excited cause I'm gonna meet him soon.

Oh hey, that's my huge face and a little acne on my forehead.

Blurry pic. not good, but I like how the lights flew like a phoenix. 

 I'm getting my old camera back so I finally can upload some photos. Anyway, Red's getting me a camera. Not a new one, and it has no charger so I got to buy it tomorrow but that's really sweet how he noticed I need camera for my study and jobs. He said that's one thing I'm gonna take it with me to places I go so wherever and whenever I go, I'll always remember him and he's with me. How silly my boyfriend is! Is he don't realize how much I love him so I think about him every time even in my dream when I'm asleep? But he's the sweetest, for sure.

Guess what it is! Hell yeah it's ours!

 "I wanna be the first thing you see when you awake from your sleep every morning. I wanna stay at home and wait for you, so whenever you back home, you back to me. I wanna be your wife, I wanna be the mother of your child. I want you in my life so much cause that is what I've been dreaming about since I loved you and I never planned anything without you in it since we met."
That's what I said to him. And I'm glad he's happy to hear that. But I don't say I love him in those sentences.
Cause what I'm saying is... he's my life now. And my new dream. Life is like a long journey. We met in the road, get to know each other, and now we're like stop walking to nowhere and made our own path together so no matter how far we're apart, I know we will meet in the end cause we're in this love and life together.
And when I say love, it's for ever.