Pretty hair and bow!

We'll make it works.

Time passed. That's what I notice these few days as I wrote the date, it's January already. So many thing remind me of those happy moment back then, but sometimes I asked myself: do I really happy back then? If I did, was it the best? Or is it just my ego to say I'm happy though I'm actually not? That is one unanswered question I won't know. It's just... it's still hurts. Though I can see the good things of all this crazy matters, it's still hurts. Everyday there's a thousand cursed in my head and all I have to do is be quite and that's not an easy thing to do. Let's just move on.

Anyway. I miss him and I can't wait for Friday cause I've got a date! Yippee!

But times getting hard now. LDR is clearly not easy. But it's possible, so we'll give our best to make it works somehow. It's such a good gift to have someone, you know? I had many friends whom their life is pretty good. They had jobs I always wanted, or chances I always dream about, knowledge I always wanted to have or maybe a pretty face, skinny body and social magnets I don't have.

In other hands, some of them was jealous to me. I had one thing they didn't have: a great man and a strong relationship.

See, Red and I had so much difference before we met. I was so focus to work and put so much efforts to being perfect, while he's just an easy going guy. I tried to fix a broken heart from a 9-years-silly love and he told me he such a boy back then, dated girls with no serious intention (well, yeah, until he saw me).

But what we going through now really changed our personality. I'm getting weaker but I know all this pain will makes sense one day and I'm actually getting stronger while Red... is on his way to be a real man. And I'm proud of him. February 28th would be our 1year and half anniversary and that's just... wow.

All these time I know him and being his favorite girlfriend makes me see so much various face of Red. I know his good or weakness... and still I love him just the way he is. He laughed when he found out my geeky habits sniffing new books cause it's smells good to me. He sighed when I pull him to bookstore (and he ended up in magazine section). He smiled when I said I love him. He's jealous and got tendency to being mad when couple of my friends flirted. He's mad when I'm being selfish. He's happy when I got a high score for my Culture class.

Then, he cried when the first time he hold me after I left for 8 months. And that's the moment when I know I've found answer of all question I've been asked for my whole life. I've found what I've been looking for, what I actually want for my life. It's on him.

First field trip to Jakarta!

I'm straight from campus to the hotel, he was in field trip so I just say hi for a while.

A quality time in his place!

Epic sneak out from my home to see him for the very first time!

Yes, time's getting harder. But I know we could make it works. We can try.

There's still a hope for human kindness. Thanks God!

I made a poem when I miss you and can't hardly back to sleep till the dawn comes

Honestly I can't remember what my life's like before you came.
The sun doesn't shine, the moon doesn't glow, the air is heavy air. I know there's something wrong, but I can't tell what's supposed to be.
Before you came, birds don't sing love songs. They just sat down in the tree and waiting what's coming next.
Maybe an instinct to saved all the voices, to sing it all over again when you're there. And they know they wouldn't stop once you come.
Before you came, rain is just a rain. There's no rainbow after it. There's nothing good on it. Just mellow, and that's it.
Before you came, I have no idea what to do with my life. Who am I living for, who I'll be fighting for, what could makes my life better.
Before you came, I don't really believes in happiness and how could I be happy when I actually had nothing to make myself proud.
Before you came, love didn't exist. And all love stories I've been through is just my childish fantasy like a silly pop star or something.
Before you came, my days was gloomy and cold. Too much burden I saved all alone, too much tears I secretly wiped.
Before you came I give my best too hide my scars. And I believe I had no flaws at all, just scars to hide.
Before you came I can't hardly breathe and be my own self, always lives in fears that people won't like me if I'm not good enough.
Before you came, I can't laughed all day long without tears in my pillow when night comes.
Before you came, there's so little joy and pain is overrated.
Before you came, life is plain. And grey. And no fun at all.
But then you came and changes everything. That's why I owe you so much I can't repay.
I love you and it's not just some cheesy words I told to everybody. My bravery to say that means how much I really do.
I'm totally in love with you. And when I look at you in the eyes, or when your hands reach mine I knew I would do that forever.

I just can't get enough saying this, but I miss you. Again. As always.

It's late at night. Once again I found myself still awake, wonder what it's like if you were here. I miss you already though we're just off the phone, talking about hard life and how to deal with it.
I'm just saying, dear, I miss you every day. Every hour. Every second. Every time we're apart, I miss you always.
You know how much I love you, right?
I love you like a world. It's all around and I can't live without it, I'm living in it.
I love you like a love song, I keep repeat it again and again.
I love you like a poem, words in my head keep increasing while I think of you.
I love you like... well, there's just too much comparison.
I love you so much and I miss you right now. Can't wait January 13th!

Just some gifs