I believe in Red much better than yesterday. He totally changed in some way. The way he touched, hug, kiss and the light in his eyes makes me believe that he's into me right now.
So today it's a best day. We spend more than 24 hours together, had some quality time together and share our dreams. He planned to some business as soon as possible, and makes me wanna plan some business for myself too. We had one thing in common, a dream to go to visit and explore Italy someday. An Brazil, to Rio.
I won't say this out loud. But I wish we could make it real together. I mean.. I hope I can go to Italy, fulfill my wishes with him. You know what I'm saying (gee it's so embarrassing).
And even if our way lead to another different road, I still wish the best things for him. Cause now I know, I realize and I have no doubt about a truth that I actually loves him so bad. I love him with a big affection, big enough to make me did some sacrifice.
But still, it seems like nobody in this world ever knew what's on Red's mind.
I don't know what he sees in me. Maybe I'm just his present girlfriend. Maybe I'm just one of his youth romance or whatever. I asked him what he's looking for in me. He had no idea and I'm kinda disappointing cause he don't know what I actually means.
I mean, it's a college life and I know it's too early to decide but that's me and I can't help. I simply just want to asked if he's serious with me, I want to make sure that our relationship isn't a game he played cause he's bored and need a friend.
Cause I actually wish that Red have the same thought with me, and somehow I have a faith that I'm the best for him. I just wish he realize, somehow, sometimes before I changed my mind cause I can bear the tears anymore. Before it's too late.
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