Last Thoughts

Sometimes, the very thing you looking for is one thing you can't see

I love those words, taken from old song Save The Best For Last by Vanessa Williams. I love that song, I always have. Without any logical reason, I made myself writing even when I'm actually wants to sleep.

I thinking about it, again. The closure. That guy wasn't, and he'll never be my present or future. Time's up and I knew. I've told myself hundred times a day and still, when I have nothing to worry about, I think about it.. him. I've tried, but sometimes I slipped away and I just can't help. No comment please, except you're the expert of how forget a guy that you always love since you was a little girl. Forget something (someone, in my case) will never be a easy thing to do and it takes time. Days, weeks, months or probably years.

I think it's him that I miss to love, cause my heart is perfectly empty now and it seems like no cure can endure. But then I realize it's not about him. It's all about the feelings. I miss the feeling of loving someone. And then I knew that I can continue my life well, with or without him. Guess that's a very positive thought as the first step of move on.

I was wrong to wants him to be my last. You know why? Cause your first love makes you think that he's the last, and your last makes you believe that he's your first one. I believe in my quotation so I bold it up:) But I believe that people failed to be right, they met the wrong ones to meet the right one.

Anyway, two nights ago I got a dream. There's a man and he's kind of my type. Literally, he is and that's the opposite of my giraffe-man, absolutely. He's big, with a muscle (I guess) and strong impression though he got a very calm pretty face. And in my dream, he was care about me. I was so stubborn and fierce in my dream but somehow, he make it equal with the tenderness and all things I wish I found in my future husband (laugh, baby, laugh!). Such a sweet dream, really, though I don't really understand what I've dreamed about. But this dream have me wish a little hope to find someone like that.

Cause just like Carrie Bradshaw, I'll meet my Mr. Big and marry him someday.