I Want My Mommy Back, God. Please.

I got a dream last night. Such a good one.
I don't remember how it starts: school, I saw my favorite teacher and chat with my pals.
Then I met my mommy. She was sat as she was wait for me. Her smile, her face and her body (funfact: she's more skinnier than me and that's make me jealous cause I don't have that petite-gen)/ She wore a white shirt, Esprit I guess. She's got the same type of cellphone like mine.

She asked how my days goes but now I realize I didn't hear any voices (or I was forget?) But in that dream, I remind myself to remember the pictures of her as if I knew that she would be gone after the dream's over.
I could say any words. BUt what I want to say is, I miss my mommy. I'm sorry to what I have done and what I haven't done as her daughter. Thank God that I got that dream.
And I really wish that I could hug her, kiss her and let her know how much she meant for me, how she has change me into a better person ever since she's gone.
I wish I could see her. Either God send her back to me, or I were dead.

Now seems like I stay alive to redeem my fault to her. I wish I were understand how important love and family is when I was younger. I wish I have a good second chance. I really do.

I'm crying by myself cause I hate if someone found out. But if I can have my mommy back, I'll do everything. I really mean it. I would kill to have her back. I just want her back.

Well, I wish I have good friends to trust so I can lay my head to them. But never mind. Friendship is another fake-product of 17. Gotta wait few years more.

P.s. I'll be there soon, mom. Wait for me.