I was studying with my paper and finals preparation when suddenly you crossed my mind. I'm not sure if it's nature or is it the song I was playing is the song I used to listen to over and over again when I was madly in love with you. I wrote a little note of my thoughts about you in my journal. I was going to tweet something about it but I just don't know what to say. And fear of possibility that Red may read it and get hurt.
"It's not like I still love you or what" is what's in my head for at least half an hour before I finally decide to wrote this post. I assure myself that it might be just my random thoughts. And I know that's a lie.
I still care. I still think about it frequently, not everyday but much enough it makes me often think my relationship, my life-plan with Red is a right decision or not. I love him, probably not as much as I used to but I know there's a room inside my heart where a little love for him still left.
It's not like he will love me somehow, cause I truly believe he will not. He never do, he never will. So I don't think I should ruin my relationship and waiting like a fool like I used to.
This madness got to stop. It's 2013. It's been 12 years and it should stop. I should stop. Yeah I should... if I could.
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