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28 September 2012

After Bath! #penting





Nggak penting sih tapi lagi bosen. Nunggu jam 3 jalan ketemu Gemma di Ratu Plaza abis itu pergi ke LSPR, seminar Sakti Makki (lagi). Badan ga enak, flu, batuk, masih darah rendah. Yang pneting semangat! Semacam ngarep dengan sering ikutan seminar dia bisa masuk agency nanti someday. Amin!
SEminar nanti sampe jam 9, berharap bisa bangun pagi karena kelas Maam Sania Makki besok jam 8 teng. Hap hap hap! (dan belom bikin tugas. mateek.).

5 September 2012

I Hate You :(

Is it possible to feel this way right now?
I feel weird. My long distance relationship seems to lost their faith. Both of us. Or maybe it's just me. Lately I feel so much doubt. About him, my feelings, and love that once was true.
I don't want to have kids. Not that way. I hate the way he said women's nature. In Indonesian they called it kodrat. And I really really hate that word. More than any words. That's just because women can, not because we want to. It is wrong if I don't want to pregnant and raise a child? Not this time. Or maybe in te years I probably still don't want to. Maybe eventually I will change my mind but I believe that's gonna be a long time waiting. I hate the way he said that's the kind of thing that should be done and nothing could change it. That he probably leave if I still don't change my mind. And I really hate it all right now.
If I still like this in 5 years then what? We're gonna break up, is that what he want?
To be honest I didn't feel right. I feel different. Love, maybe, because presence is the hardest thing to do in our relationship. Distance sucks, but feel this way is the worst thing.

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