Ugh.

I am so tired. Of people, of myself, and mostly about things I can't barely understand but I feel bad for it.
Red's going to work in Bali for 6 months. That means 127km is no longer the distance between us. It's far beyond that. Different places, different faces, even time. I hate that, but sadly, what hurts the most is to imagine things I wish I could let go. But I'm pathetic, and I can't. All the jealousy, the anger, madness, burnt down as one. I wish I were there. I should be there. That's my... actual goal. That was.

And it's not easy to see them happy. I know this is more than just pathetic cause I talked about my closest friend(s) in the earth, my future, my love. I can't help it. The sadness strikes once again, ripped me through my chest and somehow I feels like dying. Hard to breathe, could die easily.