Sometimes I found myself trapped. I'm stuck in the moment. I'm living a life I really hate, in the place I hate, with people I trust no more. All I want is take a chance and runaway but I can't take another risk cause Red and me already plan our future and I can't ruin it. And I won't. But still there's a part of me find it hard to let it go. It's been a while, it's almost a years and still I can't get over it.
All dreams still shattered and I don't have a new one, all pain still killing me, my life still sucks.
I have love, I thought that's the most important thing. Red told me over and over again how selfish I am, but that's who actually I am and it's not something I can change easily. Sometimes love is not enough. In facts, knowing I have to hold all my ego for him sometimes hurts. I have a dream. I want this, I want that, I want so many things but one thing I ever wanted is a life in Bandung. That's actually what I really want, and I can't have it no more. It's like the saddest thing I ever feel. I'm broke.
Maybe it sounds silly but I wish I'm free like a bird and nobody could tell me what's not to do.
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