Beyonce - Listen

Listen to the song here in my heart

A melody I start but can't complete

Listen to the sound from deep within

It's only beginning to find release

Oh, the time has come for my dreams to be heard

They will not be pushed aside and turned

Into your own all 'cause you won't

Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads

I'm not at home in my own home

And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind

You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I'm feeling

I'm more than what you made of me

I followed the voice you gave to me

But now I've gotta find my own

You should have listened, there is someone here inside

Someone I thought had died so long ago

Oh, I'm screaming out and my dreams'll be heard

They will not be pushed aside on words

Into your own all 'cause you won't

Listen

Listen, I am alone at a crossroads

I'm not at home in my own home

And I've tried and tried to say what's on mind

You should have known

Oh, now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I'm feeling

I'm more than what you made of me

I followed the voice you gave to me

But now I've gotta find my own

I don't know where I belong

But I'll be moving on

If you don't, if you won't

Listen to the song here in my heart

A melody I start but I will complete

Oh, now I'm done believing you

You don't know what I'm feeling

I'm more than what you made of me

I followed the voice you think you gave to me

But now I've gotta find my own, my own

He Is We - All About Us ft. Owl City

Take my hand 

I'll teach you to dance 

I'll spin you around 

Won't let you fall down

Would you let me lead

You can step on my feet

Give it a try

It'll be all right 

The rooms hush, hush 

And now's our moment 

Take it in, feel it all, and hold it

Eyes on you, eyes on me 

We're doing this right 

Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love 

Spotlight shine, its all about us

its all about us 

And every heart in the room will melt

This is a feeling I've never felt 

but its all about us 

Suddenly, I'm feeling brave

Don't know whats gotten into me 

Why I feel this way

Can we dance, real slow 

Can I hold you real close 

The rooms hush, hush 

And now's our moment 

Take it in, feel it all, and hold it

Eyes on you, eyes on me 

We're doing this right 

Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love 

Spotlight shine, its all about us

its all about us 

And every heart in the room will melt

This is a feeling I've never felt 

but its all about us 

Do you hear that love, 

they're playing our song 

Do you think we're ready, 

oh I'm really feeling it 

Do you hear that love, 

Do you hear that love 

(repeat 3 times) 

Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love 

Spotlight shine, its all about us

its all about us

And every heart in the room will melt

This is a feeling I've never felt 

but its all about us 

Cause lovers dance when they're feeling in love 

Spotlight shine, its all about us

its all about us 

And every heart in the room will melt

This is a feeling I've never felt 

but it's all, all about us.

P.s.

It's all about us. It's our moment, it's our dream, for our life, all about us.

I know we can make it somehow, cause you believe we can so I put all of my faith on yours.

Sweet talking

We often talk about future lately. And it's such a beautiful plan we made for our life later, even in the rough, tough times we've been through these days. Still I don't know why it's so hard for my family to accept him. Things may happen, mistaken has been made and promises was broken, but that's the old us. Why can't they just look at themselves and see all mistakes they've been made in the past? They're not a angel or god! Why can't they just point their fingers to themselves and see how judgmental they are to me.
Anyway, we had a dreamy talk couple nights ago. A dream about how our married life would be. I know there's still another 6-8 years to make it come true but it's nice to talk about that. A home in Bandung, kids and how we're going spend weekend together.
If God asked one wish He'll make it come true, then you know my answer. That life. With Red. Forever.

Blue Sky Collapse and I need a cup of you right now

Music and Lyrics by Adhitia Sofyan

As I walk to the end of the line

I wonder if I should look back

To all of the things that were said and done

I think we should talk it over

Then I noticed the sign on your back

It boldly says try to walk away

I go on pretending I’ll be ok

This morning it hits me hard that

Still everyday I think about you

I know for a fact that’s not your problem

But if you change your mind you’ll find me

Hanging on to the place

Where the big blue sky collapse

As I stare at the wall in this room

The cracks they resemble your shadow

When everyday I see time goes by

In my head everything stood still

I’m waiting for things to unfreeze

Till you release me from the ice block

It’s been floating for ages washed up by the sea

And it’s drowning, thought you should know that

You see people are trying

To find their way back home

So I’ll find my way to you

Well, something happened. Something bad, precisely. They wants me to broke up with Red. Again. Shit always happen, for God sake why can't you give a damn break?!
I can't barely understand why is it so hard? I'm a very lucky girl to found someone so precious like him. He's my everything and when I said he's everything, I mean it. Even literally. He's my best friend, my boyfriend, the man I wants to be the father of my child (and yes I somehow believe that would happen one day). Maybe it's sounds cheesy but no, I can't live without him. Not after what we've been through, after all these bonds between us getting stronger and stronger. There's plenty of things I'm not sure about life, work and things but I want him in my life and I never been so sure. Yes, I really really want this.
Why can't they just accept the fact that I choose the man I want to marry? Is it because they judge me I'm young and irresponsible? Am I too young too decide with whom I want to spend my life with? I miss him. So much more than I can say. And knowing he felt the same way makes me even happier than ever. Maybe I'm selfish, maybe I'm stubborn. Maybe I choose my self ego and dream over family. Maybe, just maybe, till the time when they realize why I did this.

Yeah. I miss him so much I could die be a stalker

"I somehow find you and I collide"

That was a part of my favorite songs today, Collide by Howie Day. It's soooo us!
Today was a great day. I went to his hometown by train, all by myself! He said he's so proud of how brave I was cause I hate public transport (and that's because I'm so close with criminals who tried to make a mess with me) but I made it. We have a great time together. Watching theater for Sherlock Holmes 2, have a bad tasteless lunch (but sill we enjoy it), hang out and talk about everything on coffee shop... and that's how it happens.
We had a little mood drop before the movie so I keep in silent. I said something and he didn't like it, so he did the same. Then when the movie start I try to cheer him up, hope I'm not ruined our date, we get into a talks. During the movie, yep I know that's a shit for other people but who cares? Anyway we talk about a subject that we never talks about, although we both know and understand how it already happens for over a years ever since we're start dating. So we talk about it. It's kind of taboo for people, kind of slutty for other couple but once I again, I really don't give a fuck for what people might think.
It's just about Red and me. And how perfect we are when we were together, how it must be one of God's plan that we met, we fall, we love, we live, we will stay together till the rest of our lives and we would do anything necessary to make it works.
I love you so much! You're officially my partner in crime from now on and you'll be a best friend I will keep till the end of time.

Songs of the moment!

You love me, and you even don't have to say it out loud. I just now how much you loved me. That's big enough to makes me life forever.
Anyway, this is my top favorite songs at the moment:

1. Blue Sky Collapse - Adhitia Sofyan
2. Ours - Taylor Swift
3. I Do - Landon Pigg feat Lucy Schwartz
4. Unwell - Matchbox Twenty
5. Secret - One Republic
6. Push The Button - Sugababes
7. Listen - Beyonce

I want a freedom

Sometimes I found myself trapped. I'm stuck in the moment. I'm living a life I really hate, in the place I hate, with people I trust no more. All I want is take a chance and runaway but I can't take another risk cause Red and me already plan our future and I can't ruin it. And I won't. But still there's a part of me find it hard to let it go. It's been a while, it's almost a years and still I can't get over it.
All dreams still shattered and I don't have a new one, all pain still killing me, my life still sucks.
I have love, I thought that's the most important thing. Red told me over and over again how selfish I am, but that's who actually I am and it's not something I can change easily. Sometimes love is not enough. In facts, knowing I have to hold all my ego for him sometimes hurts. I have a dream. I want this, I want that, I want so many things but one thing I ever wanted is a life in Bandung. That's actually what I really want, and I can't have it no more. It's like the saddest thing I ever feel. I'm broke.
Maybe it sounds silly but I wish I'm free like a bird and nobody could tell me what's not to do.

Bugya!

Bugya! by houseofbugya on polyvore.com

Talking bubble shape
polyvore.com

Woo Agentur - Anne-Li Karlsson's portfolio: illustration and editorial
woo.se

NAKLEJKA. Coco Chanel, 50 x 73 cm, 90 zł, naklejkiscienne.pl - zdjęcie
czterykaty.pl

No child should have to live with a monster

You pray he has a good day at work.
Or else you will have to hear your mother
getting punched again tonight.
And you pray she doesn’t talk too long
to the neighbors or bring dinner out too cold.
Or do anything else to annoy him tonight.
Because you really don’t want to hear the screams.
They make you wet the bed at night.
So you pray.
You pray that today, by some miracle,
he won’t come back at all.

NO CHILD SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE WITH A MONSTER
To report instances of domestic violence, call AWARE at 6774 5935

This morning it’s all quiet again.
Your mother’s nowhere to be seen.
But there’s a broken bedside-lamp in the trash.
Did he hit her with it?
Has she left? Has she left you behind?
What will happen to you if she really leaves?
You don’t know. You’re only ten.
All you know is it’s too quiet now.
Quiet is scary.
Sometimes it’s scarier than chaos and slamming doors,
yelling and pushing and being spat at.

NO CHILD SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE WITH A MONSTER
To report instances of domestic violence, call AWARE at 6774 5935

Your mother acts as though nothing happened.
She makes dinner and sits at the table, staring into her plate.
He stumbles in drunk, stands behind her and says,
“I’m sorry. Do you forgive me?”
She sits silent for a long time.
You can see the bruise over her eye turning purple.
You can feel her sadness filling the room.
She nods without looking up.
He forces a kiss on her then smiles at you as if to say
everything’s fine now.
You stare into your plate.

NO CHILD SHOULD HAVE TO LIVE WITH A MONSTER
To report instances of domestic violence, call AWARE at 6774 5935

Agency: Saatchi & Saatchi Singapore

Lagi nugas dan dapet iklan ini. "No child should have to live with a monster". Wow it's like the best copy I ever heard! Meskipun bukan jenis iklan yang gue cari, these campaign deserve a post in my blog.

Bugya!

Bugya! by houseofbugya on polyvore.com

Adolfo Correa Girl
$20 - inprnt.com

Pretty hair and bow!

We'll make it works.

Time passed. That's what I notice these few days as I wrote the date, it's January already. So many thing remind me of those happy moment back then, but sometimes I asked myself: do I really happy back then? If I did, was it the best? Or is it just my ego to say I'm happy though I'm actually not? That is one unanswered question I won't know. It's just... it's still hurts. Though I can see the good things of all this crazy matters, it's still hurts. Everyday there's a thousand cursed in my head and all I have to do is be quite and that's not an easy thing to do. Let's just move on.

Anyway. I miss him and I can't wait for Friday cause I've got a date! Yippee!

But times getting hard now. LDR is clearly not easy. But it's possible, so we'll give our best to make it works somehow. It's such a good gift to have someone, you know? I had many friends whom their life is pretty good. They had jobs I always wanted, or chances I always dream about, knowledge I always wanted to have or maybe a pretty face, skinny body and social magnets I don't have.

In other hands, some of them was jealous to me. I had one thing they didn't have: a great man and a strong relationship.

See, Red and I had so much difference before we met. I was so focus to work and put so much efforts to being perfect, while he's just an easy going guy. I tried to fix a broken heart from a 9-years-silly love and he told me he such a boy back then, dated girls with no serious intention (well, yeah, until he saw me).

But what we going through now really changed our personality. I'm getting weaker but I know all this pain will makes sense one day and I'm actually getting stronger while Red... is on his way to be a real man. And I'm proud of him. February 28th would be our 1year and half anniversary and that's just... wow.

All these time I know him and being his favorite girlfriend makes me see so much various face of Red. I know his good or weakness... and still I love him just the way he is. He laughed when he found out my geeky habits sniffing new books cause it's smells good to me. He sighed when I pull him to bookstore (and he ended up in magazine section). He smiled when I said I love him. He's jealous and got tendency to being mad when couple of my friends flirted. He's mad when I'm being selfish. He's happy when I got a high score for my Culture class.

Then, he cried when the first time he hold me after I left for 8 months. And that's the moment when I know I've found answer of all question I've been asked for my whole life. I've found what I've been looking for, what I actually want for my life. It's on him.

First field trip to Jakarta!

I'm straight from campus to the hotel, he was in field trip so I just say hi for a while.

A quality time in his place!

Epic sneak out from my home to see him for the very first time!

Yes, time's getting harder. But I know we could make it works. We can try.