Just Want To Know

In 1996, a thief came into an insurance building and wants to take a safety-box. He can’t open it till the dawn, so he tries to take the box out by windows. Sadly, the box that so heavy fell down to his body and then he died. Police found out the body few hours later. There’s nothing in that box. It’s a very empty safety-box.

Hey, blog. I haven’t write for a while cause I got the most craziest weeks to national examination and etc. Anyway, I read that super-irony-true-story in a free magazine in my house’s area yesterday. It’s funny at first, then when I thinking about it, it gave me a new thought about life. That whatever we try to do, our plan even the most perfect one, no one could guarantee that it could be done.
I wonder if it’s same with fate and destiny stuff. Well, I don’t really believe that fate is really does exist. But I kinda believe in destiny and I substitution ‘fate’ words to ‘something that should be happen’ or ‘one of God’s plan’.

And it brings me to the next question. Could it be, by some chance, that we can change our future? I don’t mean to disrespect God and thinks that everything will still good even I don’t believe in Him, no way. I still believe that in my imagination, God had more than thousands plan for us. He may think, “If she goes this way, she will meet her ex-classmates that she loved once. But if she turns back and take another way, she’ll meet a new guy that will fall for her.” I truly believe that no option, no day is terrible and ‘bad day’ is used by people who are tearful, can’t see a good point in the worst, childish and take life too serious. Well, life is serious but sometimes there’s a humor in it, no? Turns the depression into laugh and jokes, then you’ll be alright.

Back to a question that spinning around in my head, could we chance the things that people call fate? Can we chance our future? It’s make a sense enough for me that we will never can change the past but future. But how far we could chance it? What if we change our life—ourselves mostly—and we trapped in some situation that God don’t write it down in our scenario of life (which is almost equal with a very bad life)?

Okay, I decided to make a list of my question to God if I meet Him one day by chance (surely it would be my day of death). Here it is, imagine if I were talk to him with light conversation:

1. Why You let me saw my senior and make me fallen for him, then waiting in vain without any sense for years? Why can’t I forget it? (very unpredictable, so-me-question)


2. How could You make a human with the organs, DNA and cell stuff? How? A man’s DNA is like a journey from earth to moon?


3. And yeah, why don’t You fulfill the universe with oxygen? Why there’s no gravitation in there?


4. Why You sent a human to live in the world if he/she will be a serial killer for people?


5. How You make the prophets write your saying and join ever piece of paper into a Bible?


6. If I were a boy, what my life would be? If he’s a girl, will I still loves him and make it mine when I can say my own confession cause a man can say what girls not able to say better? And if he’s still a boy, will I be a gay?


7. Why you forbid and curse them because they were wrong? Is it You the one who makes their heart not from stone? Then why? Sorry, I know this is rude but I couldn’t help myself to ask it for years.


8. If my mommy didn’t get ALS, my sister didn’t die and my brother still here, what my family would be?


9. What if I’m a princess? Will I be a good Queen?


10. If I live in 17 or 18th century, can I write a better novel than Jane Austen? Sorry, I’m just too confidence in my boldness.


11. Why You let John Lennon or Martin Luther King or Abraham Lincoln died in their middle of age? And why Boy was dead when Coco Chanel loves him too much? (well, that’s my question when I was watched the movie)


12. Is it true than Neil Amstrong is the first one who walks in the moon?


13. Is ghost really does exist? Not only a human’s imagination?


14. What Morrie Schwartz and John Paul II do in heaven? And my family in there?


15. Why Emily Dickinson and Jane Austen never married?

Okay, that's enough.