Aiyafyu

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around.
 You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more.
You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

                                                                                                                    - Bob Marley

Ugly

Haunted

Days feels like years to me lately since he moved to Bali. Every night we talk for two hours (or less if we're just too tired and sleepy) about everything. And sometimes I don't know what to say cause we ran out topics and we both know how we feels and we know there's nothing we can about it. We just have to wait.And it's not an easy thing to do.

Anywho, there's an issues we gave a lot of thought lately. And that's not nice. Well I mean for future, ours. We both know that's imposibble but still we thinking about it and it affect us so much burden in mind. I think I won't let bad things happen, and I belive it's better if one sink than two lifes ruin. It's better is one make a sacrafices and leave another for good. That's me. I can't let this ruin his life. Mine already worse, my dream already broken and I think it's better to leave all the troubles with me, not him. Sure he won't, he thinks we have to sticks together for better for worse. I believe in hin, and I want to share all tears and smile with him, too. But that doesn't mean I have a heart to ruin his life, right?

I keep telling myself that it's doesn't matter cause that were really not possible. But still I think about it. And it's kinda haunting, scary me.

You + Me

Red is having internship in Bali since the middle of July. It's kind of hard. For him, cause his plan was to have the internship in Jakarta so he can get closer to me. For me, well, I need him closer and long distance sucks. We knew we could, and relationship, any of kind, is actually simple but it's just not easy. We working on it.

Anyway. Our last meeting is one sudden date, planned it in an hour cause he's got to catch the flight. He picked me out near my house, took a cab and holding hands, say nothing. We knew it would be the last time, at least until December 28th where we plan a anniversary-Christmas date (later he said he's got a job on New Years Eve, so probably he can't make it and we can meet on January 2013).

All I can get is a phone call. That's all.

I realize it's getting harder and harder. But he's one of the kind. He's one in million, and though there's a gazillion people in this world and million people who actually around me, still I feel so lonely when he's not around.

Last pic of us. I wish he come home sooner.

I was whining around yesterday, asking him for a pic of him and he sent me this.

He's being cheesy now, grab my pic and editing it. I'm happy, but I wonder why he pick THIS picture.
My nose is so big. It's huge like a sucker of a vacuum cleaner.

See, I'm Get Back On My Back!

I didn't write much in June, month when I'm officially twenty years old. And somehow it seems like I'm get back on my feet (finally) and I'm glad. Though some things still left undone, unsettle and felt overrated for me somehow.

Anyway, this is a year of me. Just some photos I thought it would describe my life since last August when I started the first semester. I think I'm doing it pretty well. I got 2 A's (but, sadly, 2 C's) in first semester. The exam result for the second semester still a mystery but I gotta good feeling cause in midtest I have 3 A's and one-almost-A (I can't velieve I lost 0.1 point for an A so sadly I got B), bust I have apply for a scholarship and I hope it'll turn out well. 

MC-ing ITKP Rooftop Session Volume. 1, a talkshow with the expert.
(Left to right) Me, Feisal (a senior, my MC partner, whom I've just met 20 minutes before the event), Rama Mamuaya (founder mydailysocial.net), Edy Khemod (Seringai's drummer, creative director of Cerahati) and Mas Bay (my teacher as moderator). They surpisingly looks like a young folks, huh?

I decided to pulled off House of Bugya. Instead, I used Grandma's middle name.
And it's not like an online shopping is interesting, easy job to do though.

Daily activities, thinking of Red!

Still I miss you every second. Even in the class.

One of quality time with bros!

Yeah, about that. I passed out of vertigo, fell down and hit the iron trellis of my windows.
I'm bleeding but thank God, no scar lefts :)

One of my 20th birthday present from  Red, a bouquette of roses!

PET!!! I HAVE A PUPPY NOW!
She's half Golden Retriever and Dobberman, named Cipluk. I love her and at some point I thought this might be what it's like to have a children. LOL.
No, seriously.

Addicted to shooping in Scoop Ideas!

This what the rose bouquette looks like in a month. Still keep it. Will keep it forever.

This one piece of withered Red roses. He gave it to me in 2010.
One late night when I'm just get ready to bed, he call me and asked me to wait in gate of my (ex) boarding house.
He gave me this, a kiss for lips, a kiss in forehead, say goodnight and left.

Little unofficial reunion. Minus Glory. I miss her so bad.

My presentation about retro ads and moder ads in vintage style.

Family gathering. Grandma's 80th party.

Love letter reading to Trias. LOL.

2011!

On my Uncle's wedding. Yep. I'm ugly, even more when I took a picture with famous people.
Noted for self: WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?! 

Cousins.

Another gangs reunion.