Well...

Wait for me, smelly Red.

Love > Distance

OMG I terribly and desperately miss you so bad.
Wish I were there. I don't think we want you to be here :p

Forever Alone (Or Maybe Not)

Nobody really care, huh?
See, March, April and May had passed. It feels like years and I really really miss my Red (never stop wrote how much I miss him). And while I'm struggling with my own pain in Guantanamo, somehow I think Red faced a real hard situation in there, too. I actually damn worried about him.
I disappointing with all those friendly faces in disguise who only take me for granted. It's totally sucks and I hate them (well actually it refers to one person) so much. They're idiot and totally a jerk, only takes people for granted just because they rich enough to buy her/himself a good lifestyle. I'd rather call it dumb. But it doesn't matter anymore cause I lil bit relief to go away from those poker face. I gave them my kindness but what I got? Hah. Bet they'll freaks out once they feel how it's like to live in the bottom of the wheel.
BUT.
What about Red?
Who will take care of him when he sick? Remind him to eat well and encouraging him to quit smoking? Life is plain if I imagine I were him. Go to Church alone (he had a friend but I don't think it's enough, if I were him). Live in cold city with enemies within. Well, maybe not really enemies but it's hard to see who's the real friends.
I can't be his clown when he feels lonely, shelter when he felt insecure. I can't go and buy him chocolate instead let him smoking. I can't give some hug and kiss. He can't fell asleep in my lap as I combine him softly. All I can do just call, listen to him and say. The very first thing on my mind every morning is him, and the last before I sleep. He's always on my mind, it's like 24 hours every day.
But you know what's funny? Facts that I worried about him even more than myself. Sounds crazy, and people call me crazy, so what? Maybe I just love him too much. And maybe that's true. He's my precious one, the one I'll cherish and live for, to fight for and love forever.
What's better: leave or left? Cause I think both of it would killing me. You can call me random or anything but I have a faith that one day, I'll be end with him. Laying close to him till the rest of my life.
Alright, call me silly.

Can't Take My Eyes Off You - Lady Antebellum

I know that the bridges that I've burned along the way
Have left me with these walls and these scars that won't go away
And opening up has always been the hardest thing
Until you came

So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go
This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

I love when you tell me that I'm pretty when I just wake up
And I love how you tease me when I'm moody, but it's never too much
I'm falling fast, but the truth is I'm not scared at all
You climbed my walls

So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go
This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you, off you, off you

So lay here beside me, just hold me and don't let go
And Oh, this feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known
And I just can't take my eyes off you
And I just can't take my eyes off you

P.s.
I love you Red :)

127 KM

My relationship with Red is fucking awesome but distance is fucking killing me. So I decided to share every thoughts and moments in words. Maybe it's gonna be a book, a novel. Well I don't really care cause I just want to write it down.
I think 127 KM is a pretty good title. 127 KM are the distance between me, living in my hell in Guantanamo of Jakarta (read: my house. I stopped to think this place as a home though) to his room in Bandung. Luckily he encouraging me to finish it someday.
I don't know how the story will end cause I write this down based the true story between me and Red. Our struggles, past mistakes and hope to be together in the end. But one day I asked him how the story would be end. In confidence he answered, "It'll be happy ending." So that's how I got my faiths, right down on his.
I got a good feeling about this. Well, wish me luck. I'll post the sneak-peek, probably in Indonesian but I'll try if I could write it in English.

10 Long Distance Relationship Songs

Distance is suck, I know. There's a plenty songs I always hear everytime I miss him badly (well, I miss him every hour) and check this out.

Long Distance Call - Phoenix

Long time no see, long time no say
Got little to tell
I don't say much but I might
Something always told me
Us two would be serious
I am looking around town, thinking the same as you.
I'm far gone but your long distance call
And your capital letters keep me asking for more.

Hey There Delilah - Plain White T's

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and car
I'd walk to you if I had no other way

Wish You Were Here - Lady Gaga

Sometimes I wonder if God hides out in cities to set us free
Cause yeah this room is crowded but I am so alone it, help me please
Where is home?
I want you to know
That I wish you were here

Adelaide Sky - Adhitia Sofyan

I've been meaning to call you soon
But we're in different times
You might not be home now
Would you take a message
I'll try to stay away
And fight your presence in my head

Need To Be Next To You - Leigh Nash

Cause I need to be next to you
I need to share every breath of you
I need to know I can see you smile this morning
Look into your eyes each night for the rest of my life
Here with you, near with you
I need to have your arms next to mine for all time

Vanilla Twilight - Owl City

I'll watch the night turn light blue
But it's not the same without you
Because it takes two to whisper quietly
The silence isn't so bad
Till I look at my hands and feel sad
Cause the spaces between my fingers
Are right where yours fit perfectly

She Was Mine - A.J. Rafael

It's only physically
But know that you will be on my mind
Twenty four hours at a time
Cause in my eyes you were mine
No matter where you go
I won't be very far
Cause in my head I'll be right there where you are
Cause love has no distance baby
Love, love has no distance baby
No, not when it comes to you and me

Distance and Time - Alicia Keys

No matter how far you are
No matter how long it takes him
Through distance and time, I'll be waiting
And if you have to walk a million miles
I'll wait a million days to see you smile
Distance and time, I'll be waiting

Love Long Distance - The Gossip

Love long distance is testing me, trying my patience
I need more of you assistance now

Counting Down The Days - Natalie Imbruglia

I feel cold
I'm in the dark
When our souls are apart
I wanna travel through time
See your surprise
Hold you so tight
I'm counting down the days tonight
I just wanna be a million miles away from here

I Wish I Could Dissapear But Frankly, I Want To Be Found :(

I desperately wants to get out from this prison. It's not my home. It's Guantanamo. What would I give to live my own life in freedom and happiness? I would give up everything. Except Red, surely.
Let me out from here, take me away. I don't care where we'll go as long as I'm away from this jail. I don't care if I'll never came back. Please just let me go :(