Galau of the week!

1. Arms - Christina Perri
2. Run Forward - Audrey Assad
3. A Thousand Years - Christina Perri
4. The Book of Love - Peter Gabriel
5. Water Runs Dry - Boyce Avenue

Happiness is...

Happiness is when you fell asleep in his arms.And then when you're awake, the very first thing you feel is his tenderness and all you see is him, sleeping peacefully.
Happiness is when you just feel so happy spending some time with him, with or without money to please.
Happiness is a thankful prayer form the bottom of your heart cause God gives you someone who's not perfect but somehow makes all your dreams comes true and make your life sounds perfect.
Happiness is when you kiss him with a smile.
Happiness is when you just smile with no reason, just because all you see is him.
And behind all those happiness, a great super big love stands.

When I feel happy, the cause is you.
When I say love, the one is you.
And when I said your name, it's like my whole life, present and future, were spread over all dreams.
In other words, you are my life. Now and then. Forever and always.

I love you Red. And thank you for best 24 hours of the year. You are forever mine ♥

Please Don't Go

Please Don't Go by houseofbugya on polyvore.com

Rockett St George Kiss Wall Sticker – Black
$50 - coggles.com

Boyz II Men - Water Runs Dry (Boyce Avenue acoustic cover) on iTunes

We don't even talk anymore
And we don't even know what we argue about
Don't even say I love you no more
Cause sayin' how we feel is no longer allowed
Some people will work things out
And some just don't know how to change
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it baby

Now they can see the tears in our eyes
But we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts
Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide
Cause everybody knows that we're both torn apart
Why do we hurt each other
Why do we push love away

Let's don't wait till the water runs dry
We might watch our whole lives pass us by
Let's don't wait till the water runs dry
We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives
Don't do it baby

That's enough.

Today supposed to be good. Somehow I had these bad moods since last week. It haunts me before I went to sleep, but I try to ignore it cause today is Red's day. His first event as a chairman. As expected, he's so busy but that's alright. That's what he should do.
But someone told me something. A truth, maybe, and that's wasn't nice to knowing your boyfriend made a jokes about your relationship. I would never do that, so why did he? It hurts, you know. It's sad to heard from other people how he asked what if he's going out with any girl.
Seriously, what kind of person would do that? A player and a boy, maybe, but I thought he's different. I actually believe he's different, that he had changed and be more mature.But please, what is that supposed to mean? That's seriously not funny. This is the first time (maybe?) I am so damn mad at him. I called him but I think he's too tired and fell asleep, but thank God, maybe it's a way cause I won't call him anymore. For a while.
I know he's tired and hectic so I won't say anything at least until Friday. Or Saturday. I'm so disappointed and sad and tired and tears stop came out as I'm just a way too tired to feel tired and cry all night long.
Sometimes I think we're often fool ourselves and says it's love just because we're end up lonely if we were apart. I turn off my phone just to check on myself how long I can stand days without him.
Is it too much? Days goes by and there's something changed. yet I can't figure it out but I can feel it. I just can't say it clearly. Maybe it's the way we're talk, or maybe there's something more.
Yes I know I'm not perfect. I'm not an ideal dream girl. I'm fat, I'm ugly, I'm stupid, I'm weird, you name it. But I love him, and I wonder if that's not enough.
He said I'm just fine. I'm pretty on my own, and well, I'm flattered and believe what he said. I just believe it. And now suddenly I heard what my friends said to me, things I always ignore as I believe in him.

Boys just a boys. Boys still a boy.

He's still a boy after all. But I don't believe he's like the others. He's different, though I don't have so much experience in dating or what but I know he's different.
I used to think he's so precious and he's mine to keep. After what I heard today, I wonder if I made a right decision to believe... or it's the biggest mistake in my life.
I love him and I never want to let him go. But I don't wanna look weak and being stupid.

Well it's still hurts to know how happy I used to be

It's funny how past could kill you... still.Today is my Mommy's birthday. She should be forty-something by now, but her age just stopped. She's no longer aging, no longer here, and I think it would make a big difference is she's still here. I miss her, but the truth is past just killing me.
To remind how good my life was back then. Six years ago, even eight months ago when I was pursue my dream to be an event planner or traveler.
I miss all good things that used to happen in my life.

Wed BG

So yesterday my second youngest uncle get married and I held the party. Me and my cousins Vania was like, damn, I want a wedding too! So I have this crazy wild dream that 10 years from now on, I'm gonna have mine (and in my dream it's Red's and mine LOL!).
They played love songs but I think that's lame, like Because You Loved Me, You're Still The One (well it's best song ever but I won't play it over and over again in my wedding!) and others just forgettable for me. So I'm thinking maybe, since he's a big fans of reggae, maybe we could play some reggae love songs like Colbie Caillat's I Do, Lucky (feat Jason Mraz) or something he likes. So I made a list songs I'm planning to be played on my wedding day:

• Stolen by Dashboard Confessional
• I Love You Till The End by The Pogues
• The Book of Love - Peter Gabriel
• Gentleman Don't - Sondre Lerche
• Inside and Out - Feist
• 1234 - Plain White T's
• Chocolate High by India Arie ft. Music Soul Child
• I'm Kissing You - Des'ree (OST Romeo + Juliet)
• Little House - Amanda Seyfried (OST Dear John)
• Super Bass - Nicki Minaj
• All My Life - KCI and Jojo
• The Only Exception - Paramore
• Wonderwall - Oasis
• Better Together - Jack Johnson
• Love On Top - Beyonce
• Brown Eyes - Destiny's Child
• Teenage Dream - Katy Perry
• Baby I'm Yours - Arctic Monkeys (get the idea from Last Chance Harvey)
• Fall in Love - Tortured Soul
• I'll Make Love To You - Boys II Men
• Fix You - Coldplay
• I'll Be Your Crying Shoulder - Goo Goo Dolls
• Run To You - Lady Antebellum
• Love Story, Mine by Taylor Swift
• Angel Love - Samantha James
• Heartbeat - Tahiti 80
• Listen to Me - Mocca (Red's favorite song)
• Is This Love - Bob Marley
• The Sweetest Love - Robin Thicke
• Number One - Adhitia Sofyan

Geez I can't get enough. I gotta re-list the songs.
Frankly, what the hell I'm doing? So much years to wait forward but I can't wait my happy blast day with him!